A Routine Checkup/ Check-in
Check Yourself before you Wreck Yourself.
The older I get the more I find myself being reflexive and objective. I try to do routine “Once-Overs”. Once-overs are moments when I do inventory on self. What am I doing right, wrong or otherwise. I analyze why am I still in a certain place without progression or movement? If there is movement .. am I going in the right direction? Then there are moments when something random causes me to think about things. Here’s a short listing of what I’ve discovered during this reflexive time.
1. Sometimes to get the best results you have to take the YOU out of the equation. What does that mean? Example. This weekend my plans were to attend my Attorneys wedding in Atlanta on Saturday nite. I also had preplanned catching up with my girlfriends and attending a soiree on Friday nite. Then came the dilemma/almost drama. The Ex-Factor reappeared. It was the kids weekend to go with their dad. Well here lately he hasn’t wanted to receive them IF I didn’t personally deliver them to our predetermined location. Now why I had to be the driver is beyond me. … DRAMA! Knowing that and also knowing that the EX is such a non-rule/divorce Decree abiding fella. I knew for their(the kids) sake that I needed to personally take them to the location. My selfish side was pissed because this threw my weekend plans off. There was a 50/50 chance he wouldn’t show ( as he has become quite notorious for doing). Taking my needs and plans out of the equation was the best thing I could do for the situation and for my boys. They needed to see their dad and if it meant me re-arranging or cancelling out my plans.. Darn It, that’s what I had to do. My attorney will be fine, surely she was otherwise occupied anyway. J As for me.. I just came up with a spontaneous plan B and kept it moving.
2. Pride and EGO. Too much of either is NOT a good thing. I watched an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker recently and I heard some really good advice. This former pro-athlete asked another Pro from a different sport what he wanted in a mate? The 1st athlete is married and had been for 23 years. After guy 2 finished saying what he desired Pro#1 told him he was being egotistical and that he basically wanted someone like him and who liked what he liked.
I then realized that in a relationship there has to be mutual respect and appreciation. No one person can esteem themselves higher than the next. How many of us “PERFECT” people are looking for the “PERFECT” match? The perfect Abs, situation/finances, status, job etc. I recently had to check myself on this very thing. I have the best guy right in front of my face but in my desire to have Mr. Perfect, Mr. MoneyBags, etc.. I sometimes negate the fact that Mr. Perfect For ME is right here! So he’s not “packaged” the way I had designed in my head ( As IF I’m GOD now). In doing so I realize that this is exactly how people wind up being single and alone for many more years than they should’ve been if they had only paid attention and gotten over EGO.
3. The last thing I’ve learned recently is this. STOP OVER ANALYZING and OVER THINKING. As a professional who gets paid to analyze and think. This concept from time to time bleeds over into my personal life which isn’t so good. The situation can be perfect and I’ll look for ways to
pick it apart. Why do we/I do that? Maybe its that friggin EGO thing again? At the end of the day a little self-evaluation and reflection can go a long way to finding inner peace and happiness and ultimately the love of your life. I’m on my journey and its quite an interesting ride to say the least. #goodmombadwife