Divorce

Expiration Dates

 

     To everything there is a season and reason… or so the saying goes.  I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while because it seems that while change is a normal and natural part of life, we aren’t always ready nor prepared for it.  Most everything in life has an expiration date, food, home goods, animals and people.  We are born into this world and at some point we expire or die.  In life we’ll experience many expirations, some expected and others not so much.

     When I got married I never expected it to expire, but sadly the relationship died. There’s lots to learn in expirations.  From the expiration of my marriage I realized that just because the relationship died that didn’t mean I died.   I still had life, worth, hope and lots of living to do.  The key was picking up the pieces, starting over and being the best mother and human I could be.    I had to pull myself up by the bootstraps and forge on.

     In relationships where marriage isn’t involved the same applies.  We can’t make someone love us, treat us respectfully, be honest or mature.  People just don’t change in the timing and manner in which we prefer.  We have to be willing to walk away, no matter how much it hurts or in “love”  one may be at that time.  The absolute worst thing one can do is stay with someone who doesn’t want to be there.  What I have learned is that once someone has checked out and expressed that they’ve checked out, there’s no coming back from that.

     If we’re honest with ourselves and others, we know that everything has a season.  Maybe it’s time to leave a job, church affiliation, friendships or relationships to name a few.  Not all endings are bad though.  You see, sometimes you have to give up something to gain the next.  Fear of the unknown paralyzes most and causes stagnancy and lack of fulfillment.  Some would rather opt for familiar and convenient than change.    We fight change, boycott at times and will often try to stop the change that is both imminent and inevitable.    Sometimes we just have to give change a chance.  I think of it this way.. there’s no challenge in familiar.  It’s predictable, comfortable and doesn’t shake up our sensibilities.

     During seasons of change we must pause and let time work it’s magic.  We must be reflexive and deliberate in our actions and next steps.  I challenge everyone facing change to stand still, not be reactionary, impulsive or sad, yet remembering everything has an expiration date.  Sometimes we can prepare because we know its happening and when and other times sadly enough we have to face those moments head on as they unexpectedly arise.

Moral to the story: When change comes we have to evaluate the impact, re-assess, rebuild and move forward.

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