Nothing New under the sun
Over the past few weeks/months I’ve been working with my 75 year old uncle-in-law on my renovation project. He’s an interesting character in his own right and has equally out of control characters as friends or partners in crime who share talents in all things home construction. On this particular day as we were laying tile he out of the blue just randomly asked me if I would be with someone who controlled me and only wanted me to go to work and come home? Abruptly I respond heck no! Not knowing where this was coming from or where he was going with this. I asked “Is that what’s happening with you and your wife?” , assuming he felt the need to have an impromptu therapy session or something. “Oh NO!” he responds. I’m thinking I know he’s not insinuating on the sly that this is the scenario in our marriage.? He then goes on to tell me about his buddy that I call “SLIM”. I’ve met slim a time or two at the house as he often will help my Uncle when my husband nor I are available. Slim – as I affectionately call him is a very meek and quiet fella. Slender in build, standing at about 6’3. He’s in his late 60’s and a truck driver. My uncle goes on to tell me about what just happened shortly before I arrived. You see Slim was at the house helping Uncle when his wife walks in and tells Slim to get his behind home. I don’t know much about the wife as I’ve never seen her but she sounds a bit controlling and feisty. Clearly there are trust issues there. She suspects Slim has been “running around” on her. My uncle said that things had gotten so bad to where the wife of Slim banned Uncle from their home. Why? She accused Uncle of transporting slim to rendezvous at some woman’s house. Uncle.. being kinda slick with the mouth stated.. in his old man scratchy, southern voice… “Slim don’t need me to take him to no woman’s house. He’s a grown man and can take himself wherever he wants to go”. At this point I’m cracking up internally at the thought of these 60 year olds carrying on like youthful teenagers or 20 year olds. You have to ask yourself what in the world is going on?
How can we expect more out of the youth of the world when people in their 60’s are carrying on just as bad? Surely I’d rather be alone and happy than with someone that I have to police and be unhappy with. #NON-RELATIONSHIP-GOALS Is this what relationships in the GOLDEN YEARS look like? Shouldn’t there be an expectation that games and game playing are out of ones system? Well that’s not the vision I have nor do I envision that for myself or others. By the time I’m good and 60, heck by 50, I hope to have this whole relationship thing figured out. Trust, commitment, dishonesty, cheating and unmoral conduct are not a part of the equation. Is there truly nothing new under the sun?
The moral to the story: While silly, funny and petty as it may seem… the circle of life won’t evolve if you don’t evolve. You have to model what you want. Your house can’t be in disorder but you’re looking for “order” in others.