Single and Searching
Single and Searching for the “ONE” seems to be the order of the day for most of my single friends… including myself. As I reflect over my shoulda’s, shouldnot’ves and maybes I’ve come to realize that there are a whole lot of us that are just confused or as I like to say .. “LIKE IT ROUGH”. Like it rough? Yes, I’ll attempt to explain that concept.
I’ve known for a while now that Wayne is NOT IT, but for whatever reason I allowed myself to give him a pass. I can’t explain why or how I let something that I felt was wrong and not going to develop continue on for as long as I did. (that’s liking it rough) If I’m honest.. he wasn’t exactly my type, proved to be very self-centered and ego-centric, negative and full of crazy excuses. I can’t blame him for being him, but I can fault myself for proceeding once these traits became obvious to me. With all that being said I wonder why is that people fight to keep and make The “WRONGS” right and the “RIGHTS” wrong?
We’ll find every reason to turn down a right/good candidate and convince ourselves that they don’t fit into our mold or vision of what we feel we want, but on the flip side… we’ll try to fit the wrong square person into the round hole that will never fit? (Thats liking it rough too) We ignore the signs, passify and justify the foolishness and nonsense they push out. As I continue to mature and settle into this single and dating realm I’m learning more and more that its less about fitting people into templates that are sure to lead to failure and more about acceptance. Accepting people for who they are, what they say and how they treat you and others. Accepting doesn’t mean you have to sign up for the program or select that person as a mate… but if it works..go with it.
I told someone the other day ( although figuratively speaking) I said “I wish I was blind” because then the process would be less about the physical or what we see and more about the things we can’t see with the naked eye. Take a page from the Arabic people. As I watched the women of Dubai in their native dress (Abaya or hijab), fully covered from head to toe with the only thing visible being the whites of their eyes. Its simple when it comes to dating. Its less about whats under the veil and more about the woman behind the veil. I think we can learn a thing or two about that in this country. Seeing people for who they are versus what they are. More to come on that line soon. #SpoilerAlert!