Divorce parenting

Taking One for the Team


I’m sure I’m not the only parent who has gone through this. While this is deeply private and personal, the whole goal of GOODMOMBADWIFE is to keep it real and share in experiences good/bad or ugly. We’ve all heard the expression “Take One For The TEAM” and have used the phrase at some point in our personal or professional lives. As parents especially it seems in some form or shape we’re always having to “SUCK IT UP” and take one for the team.

As per our divorce my Ex and I are to split the summer months with the kids so each parent gets equal time with the “LITTLES”. In my case “HE” rarely to seldom ever takes up on it. Well this year he has said that he is going to get them on a certain date. While his record is less than stellar on follow through, I pretended to be as excited about the news as the kids, but internally I was thinking.. “It’s not gonna happen, but for their sake I hope he does follow through”. Knowing my Ex as I do.. I should’ve known there was a hitch/catch. He concludes his conversation with the kids and then asks to speak back with me. While not surprised, I wasn’t quite prepared for what he had to say. He “CONFIRMS” with me the day he plans to get the children and I agree that I’d have them ready. We confirm the duration and then just as I think the conversation is over he commences to say….. WAIT FOR IT ….. “Are you going to give me that child support for the month”? Now my inner girl was saying “N#G#0 PUHHLEASE”! .. but I managed to refrain from taking that statement external. While still in a low key state of shock I kindly reply. Sure! You see if you can’t beat ’em join ’em. Under “normal” circumstances where there were 2 actively participating, level headed adults this request might not seem so odd, but WE ARE NOT THAT CROWD.   I’m sure he was expecting resistance and flack from me, but on this day.. I wasn’t having it. Mind you… a portion of his payment is arrears so he surely wasn’t thinking I was giving him the whole enchilada.

You see in that moment I knew I had to take one for the team. Unbeknownst to the kids if my paying back support monies meant they got to spend time with their dad, then doggone it.. so it shall be. Trifling? ABSOLUTELY! Who does that? What “REAL MAN” would even request such? It’s not that he (the Ex) is in financial straits or needy, just being himself. .. TRIFE. Would you have agreed? Why wouldn’t you agree to those terms? Is this the next level of “better or worse”? Is this what parenting in this age looks like? Would you give the full amount up front or on a 2 week basis? IS this the ultimate in reckless and selfishness on the fathers behalf. I’m writing this to see if other moms/dads agree with the “ASK”. Would you just say forget and not be “blackmailed” and tell the kids they won’t see the other parent? Things that make you go hmm. I’ll end with a quote from Maya Angelou .. And STILL I RISE! @goodmombadwife

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